lol That was the first thought I had while holding my son...he's actually the only reason why I believe in God, everything about him is just perfect, science/biology/egg/sperm/etc. I guess they had a part in creating him, but someone that perfect has to have been touched by God.
Q was concieved on October 14, 2006 on his dad's birthday. Its crazy because I remember EVERYTHING about that day...after I found out I was pregnant, I made a point to never forget that date and what I did. He was born June 27, 2007 on my Mom's birthday. Its crazy to me because for my whole life I had been celebrating Q's birthday even before he was even created. I remember the day that I found out he was going to be a boy, I remember how easy my pregnancy was, I remember the day that I was admitted into the hospital I took the day off feeling great, I actually spent it with my mom and brother at Charles River, we raced because I'm a competive asshole, and of course Q and me won that race lol even at 9 months pregnant. lol I had complete control over his birthday, I had been in labor from June 26th and all day June 27th...9:15PM June 27th, I was getting a bit nervous because I wanted my mom to have at least ONE bday gift from me that year...9:45 PM I start feeling ALOT of heat (which is probaly why he's a hot head now)...the nurse checks me, and says "well you can start pushing now, or wait, whatever you want to do"...me being the Control Freak that I am, I wanted a say in his bday and to give my mom a gift, I start pushing...the nurse checks me again and is like woooah I didnt think youd be pushing for this short amount of time, I figured you'd have him early am 6/28...10:05, they say stop pushing and start coughing...I coughed him out at 10:08.
I couldnt wait to get him out of me, lol as I was pushing everyone was like "wooooah he has soo much hair" and after waiting to meet him so long, it felt like an eternity...when we finally met his eyes were wide open and just looked at me like "Damn, you're the lady thats been talking my ears off for these past 9 months?"...no crying...his apgar was 9/10 I think...I remember how HAIRY he was...when I was first born, the dr. told my mother "You gave birth to a warewolf!!!" because I had hair EVERYWHERE except palms and soles...Q was the same way, I had my own mini wareworlf.
I instantly just felt the strongest connection that I've ever felt to ANYONE and it felt...intense...painful...joyful...hmmmm...I guess it felt like fate, to sum it all up. My heart, my soul, everything, was no longer in me, but in him...scariest thing I've ever experienced. I think thats why I'm pretty much one and done, I dont think I can love any future kids as much as I love my Q, and that would be unfair. He pretty much has my all.
Its human nature for us to want to survive by any means neccessary, to pretty much put ourselves first...I would die a million and one deaths without a second though for my son...a million and one horrible deaths...thats insanity...but he has that type of hold on me. I'd do anything for him. If he were some horrible mass murderer or monster, it wouldnt matter to me, I'd still love him the same and would still have his back. I'd probaly turn my back on the world and God himself for my son...thats scary to me.
Its so funny because I remember, Q had a very distinct cry that I could easily recognize...you could blindfold me and I could hear 100000 babies cry, and I would automatically know which one was mine.
He's going through his terrible threes, he talks back...whines...drives me nuts...and I still love him the same.
I'm just happy that he's in my life because, even though my love for him is irrational, insane and unexplainable, its still the first and only time I will experience genuine love and I appreciate that more then I appreciate life itself.
Just randoms about him...he was sleeping on me today and I kinda...sorta...ummm cried. Someone I know of is currently in the process of losing their young son to cancer. It breaks my heart even thinking about someone having to go through that. This person has to be one of the strongest people I have ever encountered & as an outsider watching someone go through that, its devastating. I cant even say how much I admire how strong this father is, all I can say is, I could never be that strong. If I had to bury my son, I'd have to bury myself. When you become a parent, you dont realize all the things that you are signing up for until you encounter them.
