I...need...to...be...very...careful...with...my...words...even...when...I'm...mad...
A while back...I met someone, complete opposite of me. What I liked about him was that he was a real friend, we would just talk and laugh our time away & if I ever needed him for anything he was there and he really didnt have any hidden intentions or want anything from me but convo, for once someone was on the same page as me...that rarely happens.
The little things that he did spoke volumes about his character.
One day we had a minor disagreement...and I allowed that shit to escalate...the last words out of my mouth to him were "Fuck you, I don't care about you and wouldnt care if I ever saw you again"...at the time that I said it...I meant it...a day later I realized how stupid I was for saying something like that considering that the disagreement was really just a misunderstanding. I text him...no response. Called him...no response. So I figure that he had to have been pissed but knowing him he would eventually come around...a week passes...I call him again, phone off. So given his "occupation" I get a little scared because it pretty much means that he was either in jail or dead.
I worry alot about my friends, more then they will ever know. I called around trying to find him, and no one had any information. A couple of days I couldnt eat much because I knew he was probaly dead, and all I could think about was how I told him I didnt give a fuck about him....that weighed heavy on my soul for a while.
After that incident I made a promise to myself that I would always choose my words wisely, words are definitly weapons, and sometimes those weapons wound you rather then your intended target. I havent lived up to my promise as of yet, but I'm working on it. Easier said then done, but every day I am trying to mean what I say and express myself in better ways.
The reason why I needed to write this is because...guess who FINALLY reached back out to me? Turns out after our misunderstanding, he left and was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He ended up getting robbed, stabbed 2 times in the neck and once in the eye. The doctors didn't think that he was going to make it...but he did. In the process of getting robbed, his phone (with my # in it) was taken. Seeing him near death his mother begged him to move out of state and to get his life together and of course he couldn't say no to that. So now he's trying to get everything back on track in VA and I'm happy for him. Considering that he graduated from Hampton U. and is extremely intelligent, he was wasting his life away in Boston.
He didnt have my phone #, but recently found me online and updated me on everything.
I do blame myself for what happened. If I would've never allowed that situation to escalate we probaly would've been chilling and he wouldnt have been in the wrong place at the wrong time...but I guess everything happens for a reason, because now he is taking steps to make his life better.
Soundtrack- Regrets ~ Jay-Z
"Your words have such power to do good or evil that they must be chosen carefully, wisely, and well." Wayne Dosick
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